What really happens to your Gum!
Gum has been around for a long time. First invented by Frank Henry Fleer in 1906, the sticky stuff was first called Blibber-Blubber. When the first batch he made came out of the oven, he exclaimed, “Holy Shenanigans,” for he attempted to make Waffle Soup on a Stick. He started marketing it by saying it would help you loose weight. What he didn’t know is that he was absolutely correct. For you see, Blibber-Blubber clogs your digestive tract, making eupepsia impossible. 40 people died of malnutrition from his “magic” cure. The government quickly locked it up in area 51. This obviously explains why people have started seeing aliens in area 51, because the Blibber-Blubber has been oozing out ever since.
The agents that picked up and quarantined the Blibber-Blubber evidently missed burning the recipe, for Blibber-Blubber now has been created to be a massive industry that it is today. The hooligans, who called themselves the G.U.M. (Gastrointestinal Underbelly Minions) and named the chewing substance after themselves, found the recipe refined the concoction by taking out the nuclear waste that Mr. Fleer put in. This basically neutralized the pancreatic juices and enters the lymph system, negating the endocrine creating capabilities resulting in the digestion in G.U.M. However, this process still takes 77 years and G.U.M. will build up in your system and revolt unless you inject your cerebellum with large quantities of 100% Juicy Juice Grape Juice.
“Chewing gum…mimicked…Japanese…
ADV TPW MJV |
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