The Truth about China

What do dollar store toys, cheap candy, shoes, and Chinese people all have in common? They all come from China of course. However, a recent study found that Chinese shoes were not made in Chinese factories. Instead, they are made in Kazakhstan, and smuggled across the border. Before we delve into the deeper details, let me give you a little background. 

The country China was supposedly started in 67000 BCE. However, this is obviously just a government hoax. It was actually founded in 1898, when two giant sea monsters collided with a giant ship going to Atlantis. These poor shipwrecked souls went to China’s beach, where they started over on life. Eventually, this grew to be a massive civilization. This is the China we know today. The leader of the group, who was transformed after hitting the ship (he was the sea monsters). He decided that all men should have the same amount of stuff, no matter how much you make. He thought giving to the poor mandatorily would help the world, but instead, that was what sunk Atlantis. 

One day, the leader, whose name is 笨, decided that the best way to get around China would be to build a massive walkway, 3700 miles long.  Afterward, 笨 realized that this could actually be used as a nice wall, keeping everyone who was in China in. That way, nobody could ever leave.  Too bad for 笨 because this was in the 1960s, when planes were already being flown all over the world.

In all reality, there is no such thing as a free lunch. But that is beside the point. 

In all other reality, there is no such thing as a dollar store. This was dreamed up by Chinese wannabes. It is actually called a 300 Yuan store. These stores are only owned by the super rich, which is pretty much everybody because there is only one class. However this is also the super poor class.

Do we want our children to buy shoes forcibly taken from kazakhstanis? I speak for all Americans and everyone around the world when I say no. Please, do the world a favor and boycott China.

-by a Kazakhstani in need of assistance

And for a comedic break: Quotes:

"Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757 

Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million. 

A penny saved is ridiculous. 

Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms! 

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson  

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Don't worry. Being eaten by a crocodile is just like going to sleep. In a giant blender. -Homer Simpson

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge. -Spike Milligan

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

[ ')3 ---Duckman Approved

 

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