5 Things You Should Obviously be Scared Of.

1. Success:  Success is a very scary thing indeed. The more Success you accomplish, the more Success you are expected to achieve.  I success a very easy solution. Failure. If you fail often, then people will expect less of you, making life so much easier.   Try it, maybe you will figure out you like it!

2. Clowns:  What would you call a person that paints a smile on their face, dances around in public, and wears a one piece suit with frills on it? A psychotic maniac? A mentally insane killer? No, this perfectly describes a clown, which have been "entertaining" children for years. It is a common fact that clowns have something to hide, because otherwise they wouldn't wear so much make-up!

3. Grass:  How could something so harmless as grass be scary? Think about it. What if all the grass on Earth went on strike and decided not to make oxygen anymore? We would all die! The grass will not be silenced for much longer.  I suggest not cutting their heads off with a massive swinging blade. That might appease them enough to let us live on for at least a few more years.

4. Tyrannosaurus Alligators:  What? "Do those even exist?" you might ask.  Well, the easiest answer is yes. At night when you are sleeping, they come out of hiding from your darkest corners of your house and start going through your cabinets.  They take your car keys and hide them.  Your missing cell phone? Probably the work of the Tyrannosaurus Alligator.  Your missing TV remote?  Another perfect specimen of what they do best: Steal your stuff!  If they collect enough of your technological items, they will be able to rebuild the mother ship that brought them here and everyone will forever suffer the unspeakable consequences because of it.  Perhaps it was not the smartest ideas for the Egyptians to enslave them years ago when they first landed here.

5. The Dark: "Yeah right, I was afraid of that when i was like 2."  Well, did you know that darkness is the absence of all that is good?  Darkness is slowly taking over this Earth, so far it is covering about 50% of it! before long, darkness will envelope the entire Earth and all sorts of nasty, unwriteable things with happen.  How can you prevent this darkness apocalypse?  First, turn all of your lights on always.  Second, you must create fusion with highly dangerous chemicals found deep within the Earth's core.

Do the world a favor and start fearing these 5 things!

[ ')3 ---Duckman Approved

 

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