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Peppers and Max
The other day (yesterday), Tasha brought in some habañero peppers. She had a look in her eye that could make children cry. (Like always). She started dishing them out and everyone had a taste, well only about 8 1/2 of us. Max, trying to prove his so-called "manliness", decided to have quite a bit (about half the pepper). These peppers are 50 times hotter than jalapeño PEPPERS, and Max felt incredibly invulnerable as he munched down the rest of his lunch. Suddenly, an intense feeling of jolting pain erupted through Max's solar plexus. He had a sudden, intense urge to clear out the discomfort in his abdominal region. As he stumbled toward the lavatory discharge region, hoping that his stomach's acidic qualities would resolve themselves. The instant he entered the bathroom, a strong shock of numbness ripped through his arms and legs. Unable to keep himself balanced upon his legs, he stumbled into the bathroom stall, fumbling to stable himself. As his arms and legs became near-useless for all normal functions, sweat bristled on his brow, and he began to shake uncontrollably. Zak, worried about his brother, sprinted down the hallway running over small freshman (who thought it was a fun game to jump in his way) in an attempt to secure Mr. Landstra's medical assistance. Tony and Justin stared helplessly as their friend quivered and quaked. Mr. Landstra and Zak arrived, stepping over the roadkill freshmen who unfortunately were caught in the mad dash of saving grace. By this time Max was struggling severely to maintain an upright position. "Sit on the can, Max," Mr. Landstra calmly stated. Tony, Justin, and Zak left for class, slaves to the bell. Max trembled by himself, for Mr. Landstra's duty called. Half an hour and a watery vomit later, Max sat in the office while the office ladies winked at him repeatedly. For two hours. PSYCH! They basically ignored him. After two hours, his stomach pain almost subsided, and he wandered carefully over to Bonner's Bible class, where he was promptly ignored again. Forced to go to Cross Country, he sat and did nothing. His pain gradually dissipated throughout the next couple of hours.
The Boys
Zak had the plan. Peppers were squished, hands were rubbed (necks too) and to their utter surprise: nothing happened! Where was the mind shattering pain they originally intended to force upon themselves??? Were these peppers living up to their name? As suspicion arose against these imposters, Max began his eventful trip to the not-so-port-a-potty, and the rest of that story is history. Meanwhile, the chemicals from the habañeros began the slow job of creeping cautiously into the gaping pores on Trenten's neck and hand, Zak's face, and Max's horrendous malformed hand. By the next period, all affected areas were already stinging terribly, some soon to be resolved, and others only beginning on the path to a painful death. Zak's facial region was the first to recover. Max and Trenten, however, were less than fortunate. The hours crawled along, and the various body parts reddened with pain, rashes forming from the neuron depolarization responses produced by their bodies. Refraining from cleansing their extremities they endured through the building pain. School ended, cross began, and the rashes continued to expand and sear through their skin (technically only in their minds, since the chemicals only make your mind think that you are burned or scarred...). Well, to sum up the rest of the amazing happening: it really hurt a lot. For a long time. Showers hurt, shaking hands hurt, sleeping hurt, even thinking or living at all in all senses of the phrase began to produce mind-numbing pain. They healed over night, and sadly have no scars to prove it.
ADV TPW MJV
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