This post is posted due to the heavy pressure of our wonderful viewers. Apparently, the last one was awful.
(pay no attention to the words in parenthesis throughout the rest of the paper after this clause (not santa) for it has logical and non-logical meanings.)
Yellow. Blue. Red. Purple. (polka dot). These are all colors of the Laughing Man. Some say he was born on the outskirts of Zebratown in Duboi, New York, New York. Others say that he grew up living in the jungles of Yesterday.
One day, his best friend, Monkey, who is no relation to a rhinoceros, tripped over and fell down a deep well. For some reason that struck Harold, the giraffe, as very funny and he started laughing. The the Laughing Man, whose name is Gerald, found that Harold added forty years to his life, just by laughing! However, Harold was hit by a bus the next day, which took away 39 years. Harold died exactly one year later. Using very complicated mathematical, scientific and somewhat linguistical formulas and equations, he figured out that laughter just might save people’s lives. So he decided to put his life at risk, while laughing, to prove his theory.
First, he flew to Kentucky on his magic broomstick.
“If you don’t make it, I’ll shoot you!” his best friend yelled at him as he boarded the plane. Suddenly, a large bus with a picture of Chuck Norris round house kicking someone hit the poor sucker right in the kisser. It killed him instantly.
Anyway, as The Legend goes, a strong gust of (dirty) (rotten) (no good) (looking) wind spiraling at almost the speed of wind ( times 2) picked him up from his tush(y) and flung him at the nearest brick wall, which conveniently was located right (to the left) next to the (slimy) (mayo covered) (cholesterol filled) potato salad. Good thing the laughing man was laughing, for it saved his happy little life. He considered it a break through (the ice)! After that moment (of truth) he never stopped laughing, for fear of large objects crushing him.
But the Laughing Man knew all too well that this wasn’t enough to satisfy (his quench) the testing and the results that were imminent. So he got back onto the plane to think of more tests that he could try. While sitting alone (because he was an ugly fatty) he came to the realization that the next test was right there slapping and smacking him in the face this whole time! The Laughing Man looked around at the other (fatties) people sitting in the plane with him, for he knew they wouldn’t be watching in awe as he would attempt his next feat. He then grabbed the hammer that he had duct taped to the bottom of his (dinky) chair and held it firmly in his right hand. He readied himself for what was to come. He then took his right arm and brought it behind his back. He got up the courage and swung the hammer at the window right next to him. Immediately wind burst through the open window and sent shivers up the other passengers (deformed) spines. Slowly but surely (like the fatty he is), the Laughing Man climbed out of the small window and onto the wing of the plane that was right outside. Once he squirmed his way through the window, he slowly walked across to the middle of the wing. There he stood, his arms spread out into the sky. He felt the breeze fly by his face, causing his long and luscious dark brown hair to wave in the wind. The plane was soaring high in the sky while he stood. The man that was sitting near the Laughing Man, glanced outside and saw him standing there on the wide wing, thinking that he was some crazy mad man. The Laughing Man then crouched down, and jumped as high as he could into the air and flew backward. His body plummeted to the ground.
Once again the Laughing Man was correct. He didn’t have even a scratch upon himself! He now knew he held powers that made him invincible, as long as he laughed. But the Laughing Man was not satisfied at this. He had to go out into the world and prove himself worthy. He stepped into the rocket going to the Hubble (Bubble) Sauce Station. For some reason he thought it would be pretty great if he threw a hammer at the window. Immediately and imminently the poor man (eating a sucker) was sucked out of the hole the size of a quarter. Good thing the sport was laughing. He fell to earth the wind blowing through his luscious brown hair which was brown. He was a short man, only 5’ 5’’ in stature. His tie-dye shirt was clashing with his tie-dye pants. His body was delicious (according to (I Am) Legend). His brown shoes hid his tie- die socks and his tie-dye pants (which had no protection) yielded no protection. Suddenly (and quite franklin (like the turtle)), he fell into the sharp objects and broken glass factory. Some say they heard his laughter up to 40 metres away. He laughed so hard that it added 40,000 years to his life, as they say. His system prevailed again!
He moseyed his way to France ready to duel with The Beast. He slaughtered. He then traveled to the top of the Eiffel Tower (yes, my son, the very tibbe (the fool) top). He jumped stretched out his legs with all his might, then realized gravity was an acting force. Too late, too late did he realize what he had done. He stopped laughing, thinking of what was about to come. They think this was his downfall, seeing as though he fell with legs outstretched on the very sharp point of the tower. He instantly lost his manliness and died there, hanging from the top with his hand. His HP shot down to zero, his power level was no longer over 9000.
The whole world dressed in black and started cutting their hamburgers in half. Everyone mourned. One of the (idiots) holding the casket dropped it, and the laughing man rolled over in his Grave. What the result existed to be as was a small peep, which someone yelled, “It’s a laugh, like duh,”
The casket containing the laughing man burst in to pieces, and the laughing man emerged in glory, floating while glowing a cyanish bluish yellowish, redish, purple(ish polkadot). He floated up to the sky, floating on the wings of love for laughing. Everyone heard his laughing that day, and even though most of them died out, we are left, and that is why me, and my colleague, have dedicated our lives to LHOSP (Laughing helps our souls prosper) to give everyone the knowledge of how to be awesome like the poor sap, also known as the laughing Man.
[ ')3 ---Duckman Approved
ADV TPW MJV
