The TRUTH of evolution...

 This is the TRUTH of how humans evolved from apes...

How did they change their bones?
A long time ago, before humans were "invented", there were a whole bunch of apes with a very strange plan. The apes wanted to see how many of them they could fit in the branch of a tree. The first one climbed up the tree to a branch that was 50 feet above the ground. Another ape saw what the first ape did and wanted to try as well. Soon, all kinds of apes started climbing the tree and were sitting in the branch. The branch started to sag from all the weight of the apes. Some of them were getting quite scared, and so they decided to climb back down. However, it was too late by then. A beaver had come be the tree and started chewing through it. The beaver chewed through the whole thing and the tree fell down. The apes fell from the tree and landed on the ground head first. This caused the apes "curved" backs to break terribly. Their backs were broken so badly that it forced them to become straight, like a humans back. The huge fall also caused their legs, arms, hands and feet to break. The apes tried to fix their bones with surgery, but they didn't have the right technology or the knowledge to do it correctly. So they got a bunch of glue and glued their bones back together. However, they glued them back together incorrectly, so they looked, and worked like, human arms, legs, hands and feet. Along with breaking all their other bones, the apes also smashed their faces in, causing it to look long, to spherical like a humans.

What about their hairy bodies?
Well, after the fall, one of the apes realized that he was sick of his hairy body. He told everyone else this, and they all agreed with him. Another ape in the community stood up and started talking to everyone. He said, "If everyone is sick of having hairy bodies, we can just all get laser hair removal. A few years ago I got bored on a Saturday afternoon and decided to build one in my garage. I then proceeded to test it on my pet gorilla, and it actually worked." The other apes agreed to get their hair removed by his laser-hair-removal machine.


What about their brains?
When the apes fell, their brains were severely injured in the process and somehow their brains got a whole lot smarter than what they were before.

How did their children look like humans if they didn't technically go through the process of Natural Selection?
When a child was born, the parents would check to see if they looked like an ape or a human. If they looked like an ape, they would then proceed to drop the child from a high tree branch so their bones would break and look like a human. (Sounds harsh, I know. But it worked, and the children were glad they had to go through this). Soon enough, the children knew to be born looking like a human so they wouldn't have to go through this painful operation. So now, to this day, humans populate the world.


How come there are still apes to this day?
The answer to this is very obvious. Not all the apes fell from the tree originally, so there were still apes living in the world, and they continued to populate, and they still do to this day.


So, what do you think about my theory? Is it better than the theory of evolution? Or not? Please leave your thoughts in the comments section. We also welcome you to share your own "pretend" theory with us. You can type it out in the comment section or send it to yourideaisawful@gmail.com. We would love to hear your own ideas.