Wow! That makes sense!

One thing I have decided every one of you needs to know is the fact that many of the world's problems could be easily solved in 12 short steps.  There, I told you.  Now I have passed on the heroic responsibility of figuring out what on earth those 12 steps are.  I know what you're thinking: "wait, why did I just dump ketchup all over my waffles?"  Seriously, you need to stay on topic when I tell you something important.  Who honestly changes the subject like that when talking about saving the world.  Anyway, the best way for you to research how to solve world problems would be to search for it.  Don't tell me that's obvious, because if you could have thought of it you would have.  (I love modern art)  Well here you go to get you started: all of politics would be solved if only we were hummingbirds.  With logic like mine the world will be a better place before we realize we made a mistake!  Good luck on your newfound quest, and remember, its only the world that is relying on you, so very little pressure (only about 5.9742*10^24 kilograms).

Mystery

Can you decipher this code?

 

We also have hidden Code Decipherer (a picture to letter converter) somewhere in the previous posts.

Once you have found this word, turn it into a number by adding the number values of the word together.
a=1
b=2
c=3
and so on

Then, multiply this number by 6, then divide it by 10.

Once you have this number, send it to Yourideaisawful@gmail.com.  If it is correct, You will then get a special prize through your email and be able to laugh at all the failures who didn't get it in the comments.

Hint: Try searching the September posts in the blog archive for the Code Decipherer!

Feel free to have fun with this one.

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Mega Movie Monday Update #2 The Bookclub

Here it is. The video you have all been waiting for. The topic of this one? Bookclubs. This movie was spawned off the idea that each character would have a different thing unique about them in every shot. For example Tony is always exercising, Trent has a different angle for every word he says, and I (Justin) turn on the lights every time (We kinda got lazy with mine). See if you can figure out what Max's is supposed to be. We also made this late at night and we may not have been thinking straight so that is probably why it is so random and very strange. Well I hope you enjoy it anyway.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Oy7ja_Zyfs

On this Day: 10/3/10

Happy 276th day of the year!


28 Days till Halloween.
53 Days till Thanksgiving.
82 Days till Christmas Eve.
83 Days till Christmas.
89 Days till New Years Eve.
90 Days till New Years Day.
219 Days till National Duck Appreciation Day. (May 10)

The Past: Extremely Important Facts

In 2009, Archaeologists discover a smaller site near Stonehenge, named Bluehenge, after some blue stones.

In 2008, People found a Viking era church in Odensbacken.  Odensbacken has a population of 1384 (as of 2005).  The weather in Odensbacken is quite calm.  The temperature right now is 55.4ºF, while the wind is blowing from a south east direction with a speed of 14.9129 mph.  Apparently, "People in Odensbacken enjoy saying their towns name."  Go ahead, say it out loud in a Swedish accent.

In 2006, The EADS delayed a delivery of the Airbuss A380 because of wiring problems.

In 2003, an Asteroid almost hit the earth.  Conclusively, "It would have made a fireball had it entered the atmosphere."

In 1574, the Watergeuzen lifts the Siege of Leiden. This man was their leader.

Nice pants.

Apparently, the pants were used for, "carrying their booty." -Wikipedia on Waterguezen

Quotes:

I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack. -Demetri Martin

When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear. -Jack Handey

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Contradictions

Contradictions

"My nose will grow because of this statement." -Pinocchio. So what would happen? Please, do post in the comments.

One bright day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other.
Drew their swords and shot each other.
Now a deaf police officer heard all this noise,
and came and shot those two dead boys.
Now if you don't believe this tale of truth,
Ask the blind man, he saw it all.

That's all i got... (I know pathetic) Until next time, farewell!

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Epic Poem

Wow, apparently no one did the blog for 2 days.  This one will hopefully be counted as yesterdays and the day before, and one will surely (87% chance) come out tonight. We are sorry for your inconvenience.

#1

 By: Tony VanDyke

Tony ran through the woods, running from the ogres.

Trenten followed closely, running as fast as a gazelle.

Large rocks flew overhead, like missiles raining down on them.

The three ogres picked up more rocks as they ran,

Hoping they would hit at least one of us

With the giant gargantuan boulders.

Faster we sprinted, until suddenly, Trenten tripped! 

Tony ran back pulling on Trenten to get up.

The ogres surrounded them. Tony and Trenten

Pushed on them, but they were hard as Tony’s abs. 

Tony cried, “Please, gods help us!”  One of the

Ogres turned around, and Max was riding on his back.

He stepped down and declared, “Excuse me boys, but I believe

You dropped your satchel. And by the way, do you

Think I could help you on your noble quest?”

Tony and Trenten looked at each other and

Readily agreed. “I think my ogres will be of

Assistance; however, we will need to find some plants,

Because my ogres are vegetarian.

I think we should be off now.” Tony and Trenten

Climbed onto the ogre’s back and the ogres took off

Running toward the mountains. The ogres were

 Very good runners, and soon the three were in the caves

Of the mountains.  All of a sudden, glowing eyes

Shown all around them, and growling echoed off the walls.

Out of the darkness materialized ad

Then the beasts fought back, killing all the ogres

With their massive hands. Max quickly notched another arrow,

And hit another in the head.  As he shot,

Tony jumped off his back and flew 30 feet through the air

With his sword glistening in the lantern light. 

Time slowed down and he concentrated with all his will,

Trying to make this kill look sweet.  He stabbed the last beast

Right in the head, while in midair.  “Whoa” gasped Trenten,

“I am like so jealous of your skills right now.” 

The three continued on, until suddenly they heard

Maniacal laughter coming from the room ahead.

The three played Rock, Paper, Scissors to see who would have to go

In first and Tony was selected.  He reached into

The satchel and pulled out a torch and a broadsword. 

He ran into the room, where he found Ben,

Sitting there playing Halo. “Hey guess what Tony,

I just won. Hahahaha!  I am such a good shot. 

Do you think I could join you on your mission?”

Tony nodded his head yes, and Ben pulled out a chain gun.

“It is time for me to show you the abilities

I possess.”  With those words, Ben jumped out of the door

Where 40 cave hobgoblins were socializing. 

“Come get some!” Ben shouted at the top of his lungs. 

Then the hobgoblins grabbed him and threw him out of the room,

Right next to Tony. “Maybe Halo isn’t like real life,”

He gasped, and then he died. “I will handle this,”

Trenten bravely asserted.  He walked into the room

And all the cave hobgoblins died with a flick

Of his boomerang knife, which danced around the room

From target to target.  The knife started coming back and

He ducked and the knife went into the wall. 

Then he grabbed it and the three continued on their way. 

They went out of the mountains, and to their surprise,

Found a small band of bandits.  At the sight of Tony,

They all screamed like little school girls and ran for their lives.  

“Tony and Trenten, there is something I must

Confess to you both.  I am a god.”  Max revealed.

Trenten looked at him. “Prove it,” he retorted. 

And with those two words, Trenten was no more. 

“How could you?  That was my friend!” Tony bellowed,

“I am going to kill you!”  “You can’t kill a god!” Max shrieked. 

Tony pulled out his god piercing bullets and

His gun and started loading. “How could you!

After all I’ve done for you!” Max wailed.  BAM!

 Max fell to the ground, dead.  After looting the bandit camp,

Tony returned home, wealthy and strong. He was lord

Of all the lands in the world, and everyone

Loved him and thought he was the best person ever.

And the best for last:

#2

By: Trenten Witte

The four friends awoke dazed and confused
Remembering last night, when they were amused.
Nevertheless, this was no time for fun or games,
“We must continue on!” Max exclaims.
For the darkness in the sky was coming fast
They had to find shelter or they would not outlast.
In the distance, the four saw a bright light,
It was shelter at last, it gave them delight.
But the shelter wasn’t near, but quite far away,
It would take them hours just to get halfway.
The four heard a sound in the distance,
“What is that?” Tony asked, “Is it The Resistance?”
Indeed it was, and they were coming fast.
“YES!” Trenten screamed aloud. “Revenge at long last!”
They were getting nearer with every waking moment.
The four’s plan, “Breach of trust with fraudulent intent.”
But it was too late, The Resistance was here.
Jared was scared, and immediately cried a tear.
One of The Resistance’s men jumped toward Max.
Max grabbed him by the neck and gave him a few smacks.
The men were too many the friends were against all odds.
Trenten had an idea, so he called upon the gods.
Coming down from the heavens in the glorious light,
Descended Chuck Norris with his power and might.
The Resistance saw him, and were laced with fear.
Chuck Norris then round-house kicked them in the ear.
The Resistance screamed in pain, this was no game.
Chuck Norris had put them to terrible shame.
The men fell to the ground, only one had overcame.
But Chuck Norris just then set him to flame.
And with that, Chuck Norris was off in a flash,
And right after he left, the four friends each grew a moustache.
Three of the friends decided they needed some rest,
But Max knew better, they had to finish the quest.
“C’mon guys, this plan has been eight years in the making,
And you know, all this time I’ve been patiently waiting,
We got to stay focused on what we need to do,
We are almost to the great grey kangaroo!”
Said Max to his friends. So the friends went on their way.
They now had to get to the shelter without delay.

Trenten led the group, and Jared was in the back.

Goblins were close planning a diversionary attack.

The goblin leader grabbed Jared from behind,

Gouged out his eyes, making Jared become blind.

But the other three were too smart for the goblins,

They defeated the monsters, by playing their violins.

They continued on their way, but Jared was too weak.

So the three took him out; besides, he was a freak.

So the three went on their way, to make it to safety.

At long last, the three felt like they were free.

The only trouble now was to cross the ice shelf,

However, this task can be an inconvenience to oneself.

Nevertheless, they continued onward.

Shield in one hand and in the other a sword.

When suddenly from above, the dreaded Chupacabra.

Immediately the three looked up in wondrous awe.

But Trenten knew this was danger, and took out his weapon,

And beat it over the head, over and over again.

And with a mighty THUMP! It fell to the ground,

Too bad no one to see it was around.

The friends were hungry, so they called upon a fairy,

Who came to the rescue and gave them some dairy.

At the end of the ice, they could see the hotel,

But the ice started to crack, so they ran like a gazelle.

Faster and faster and faster they ran,

When they realized they were in Kazakhstan.

“Wait a second, there cannot be ice here!”

Tony said as he realized they were on the frontier.

The three heard noises coming from afar,

When they realized it was actually the king Jafar.

He took out not his sword, but his onion bread.

And the smell of the food was very widespread.

The smell was too unbearable for Tony to take,

He fell to the ground, and was eaten by a snake.

Trenten and Max then decided to dance around.

Jafar was so confused that he fell to the ground.

The two friends had almost made it to the end,

Just down the big hill they had to descend.

Max went down first, but hit a huge cactus.

“I cannot go on any longer.” Max had to confess.

Trenten was sad, but knew he had to go on.

For if he didn’t he wouldn’t make it till dawn.

So Trenten continued, trekking ‘cross the land.

But something happened, that was very unplanned.

An eagle from above grabbed him on the arm,

And flew for awhile, then dropped him by a cattle farm.

Once Trenten landed safely he looked and saw a house.

At this house lived the great and mighty mouse.

Trenten had done it, he completed the quest,

Of all the land, he was surely the best.

ADV TPW

Should 3-leaf Clovers be prohibited? You be the Boss!

What? Why should we elimate these poor, less fortunate plants? We went around and asked a few 1st graders.


“One time, me and my friend found a clover patch, and we started looking for 4 leaf clovers. He found one and I didn’t. I went home and cried,” replied Wendell Randall.


“Me and my homies got to talkin’, and we was like ‘Eh, we go field.’ I spoke an said, ‘I gon find dem 4 leaf clovers’. I didn’ find dem! Dat was bad, bruddah!” responded Jack Alohilohi.


“Well, my friends and I, who were enjoying a fabulous time in chess club, stumbled upon a clover patch. It was splendid, until, after searching for 6 ½ hours, we didn’t find any 4 leaf clovers. We were sincerely disappointed.” Iamore Ittelijhent expressed.


I think you are beginning to see a common trend. When people find clover patches, everyone wants to find a 4 leaf clover. If they do not find any 4 leaf clovers, they consider themselves failures. There is a very simple solution. If we get rid of 3 leaf clovers, then only 4 will exist, and it will be very easy to find them! Everyone will be a winner!


However, opposition of this plan have different views.


“I was so happy when I found a 4 leaf clover. I mocked my friends so much. I made them feel like dirt. This was finally something that I could lord over them. I was ecstatic. I went home and called them again just to laugh at them. That was the highlight of my life.” Bill Hatr sneered. Hatr, 56, then pulled out a little bag. “I still have that 4 leaf clover, just so I can scream at my friends whenever I see them. I still send them letters with the pictures of the 4 leaf clover that I found and they didn’t.”


“Why would we get rid of the 3 leaf clovers? That’s just stupid, because when someone does find one it won’t mean as much. You know, that’s kind of a C*mmunist thing to do. Making everything equal won’t make everyone happy.” DaVoz Ofreazon instructed, “Maybe you morons should take a lesson in logic.”


Should we let our children be disappointed continuously without reason? You be the Boss!

[ ')3 ---Duckman Approved

 

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Wisdom of the Duckling

Many people will agree that if you are in need of some "special" advice, the best one to ask is the Ugly Duckling.
Following is blatant proof.  Let me give a few examples of the great wisdom of the duckling.

Say, for instance, that you have been running low on good songs to listen to.  What do you do?  Ask the Ugly Duckling, of course.  He never fails to provide a few songs you're sure to like.  Here are a few of his suggested songs and book titles.

Laconic-a short but to the point children's song
A Harrowing Experience-a science fiction book written by a rowing hair getting chased by a shark
An Aptitude For Getting Caught in Airplane Engines-written by the ugly duckling
Endure the Sewer full of Manure-written by the ugly duckling
Extreme Chronic Writers Block-written by the ugly duckling
The City was Giddy-by happy campers
Irascible Ben-an autobiography by Irascible Ben
Cower from the Shower-by the ugly duckling
Gossamer Cobwebs-by Charlotte's Web (yes, that makes sense)
A long Queue formed at the book signing-by the ugly duckling

The Ugly duckling has more advice up his orange peels than just songs and books.  Say you need a last minute paper including a bunch of random vocab words.  Just have the Ugly Duckling write it for you.  It worked for me!  Here is what he wrote. (we actually turned this in during English 9)

          Mrs. Williamson stepped out into the hall; hair ablaze, with resounding footsteps.  Being aloof, the victims cowered in the bathrooms to evade her trenchant spears.  Bobby of Borculo, with his cerebral incite, decided to quit his chronic eating of candy to stop his growing girth.  Enraged, The Ugly Duckling slapped Bobby, but he was able to dodge the harrowing wing.com

This worked quite well for us during English (just ask Mrs. Williamson).  Try it for yourself sometime, and truly experience the Wisdom of the Duckling.

The Bermuda Triangle Mystery -- and the Obvious Truth Behind It

First of all, what is the 'Bermuda Triangle'?

Well, according to Wikipedia: The Bermuda Triangle, also known as the Devil's Triangle, is a region in the western part of the North Atlantic Ocean where a number of aircraft and surface vessels allegedly disappeared mysteriously. Popular culture has attributed these disappearances to the paranormal or activity by extraterrestrial beings. Documented evidence indicates that a significant percentage of the incidents were inaccurately reported or embellished by later authors, and numerous official agencies have stated that the number and nature of disappearances in the region is similar to that in any other area of ocean.


Many strange things happen around the Bermuda Triangle, but what is the truth? 


The truth is obvious my dear reader. Many people still consider it a so called "urban legend". In all reality, they just can't grasp the truth by the hinges. They demand that the answer be false. Something so obvious, couldn't possibly be the answer to one of the greatest mysteries in the world.


Or could it?


Since you may be like the other "scholars", or whatever they may really be, I shall start of easy, and slowly ease you into the full truth. That way, you will have a higher chance of being able to grasp reality at the end of this post.


First of all,people have many excuses to the things that happen in the Bermuda Triangle. The truth is, excuses are lame. Accept reality, accept the truth. It may not seem obvious to many, but it is. In fact, it is right in front of your face (if you happen to be standing near the Bermuda Triangle). The first "paranormal activity" to be explained is... The Missing Aircraft.


Missing Aircraft: What could possibly make these flying machines disappear, right out of the sky? Well, my dear Watson, it is the work of a magnificent beast. An animal so huge, that it can cause planes to seemingly disappear instantaneously. But what kind of vile creature is this? Is it some hideous creature? Well, sort of. It all depends on the way you look upon life. If you think everything is lame, boring, platitudinous, and ugly, then the creature will be exciting and beautiful. However, if you think everything in life is awe-inspiring, mind-blowing, astonishing, and pulchritudinous, then the creature will be dull and grotesque. Now you are probably wondering what this creature looks like. Luckily, I have a photo that portrays this hunk of a beast. 

The beast is the black/red dragon on the bottom. The last picture they could get, was from a medieval battle.

 

This creature can destroy just about everything (except, of course, a man with huge wings, a sword, shield, and armor (the man in the picture above). It looks like he is about to die, but in fact, he got away just before the evil dragon destroyed him. So I would advise you not to fly over the Bermuda Triangle, unless you want to face this monstrosity.

Missing Surface Vessels: Along with the creature above, there is a creature that lives in the water and hunts down vessels. This way, if you decide to sail a ship through the Bermuda Triangle instead of flying over it, you still will never be able to make it. This creature is technically not a 'physical' creature. It has no real body or anything of that sort. However, this does not stop it from creating a body when the time comes for it to use it. It uses to water around itself to create something so incredible, that no other form of water can be compared to it (except if you see dolphins swimming together in the middle of the ocean). Below is a picture of the monster (if you dare to even look).

The monster in the middle of the night, ready to feast.

 

Now it may not look so bad, but it has a tendency to drown its victims. So if you don't like having water drip down into your lungs, causing you to not be able to use them for breathing, then go ahead and mock this thing. Don't blame me when it decides it wants to kill you.

Since this post is getting a bit long, and I am tired, I shall continue this some other time, if you would like. Seeing as though most of the audience doesn't really care what is put on here, I will probably go ahead and post another one. (It's not like people even read this thing anyway.) 

Anyway, these first two explanations were boring ones. It is too late for me to come up with some humorous paragraph at this time of day. So the next few should be fairly better, if not great. 

So join me next time, my dear, and we shall go on a wondrous journey and explore our world together.

Good night, my darling, good night.

The Legend of Hatsya

Hatsya was born on February 21, 1946. When he was very young and in school, everyone knew he had a talent. Now this was not an ordinary talent. No, it was not grades (he got a D- in every class, just because the teachers never wanted to see him again by failing him). He was not skilled in athletics (he ran a 15:16 mile). No, his talent was acting. One time, Hatsya was acting in a play (the audience crying, of course), when a big Hollywood movie producer came up to him.

“Hatsya, your gonna be big, big, BIG!” said the Hollywood movie producer, “I want you to come with me and I can give you a job where everyone will recognize you . Kid, I am going to make you a star!”

From that moment on, everyone knew the name of Hatsya. The local and national magazines headlines screamed, “He’s the hottest thing!” with his glowing face illuminating the cover. After all of the publicity stunts, they took Hatsya, loaded him into a cannon, and the Hollywood movie producer grabbed a torch.

“Wha, what are you doing?!?” Hatsya yelled. “I thought you said I would be a famous actor!”

“Are you kidding kid? If you were paying attention, I said you were going to be big! I said you would be a star! Remember how all those magazines said you would be the hottest thing?” Spat the Hollywood movie producer, “Well, I guess you will learn your lesson the hard way. Fire the cannon!”

With that the cannon shot off, and Hatsya flew into the air. He became a literal star.

Remember, nothing is ever as it seems.

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