Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Duckman Injections

At Duckman HQ, we decided to introduce a new line of products: Duckman Injections!  With these new fantastic syringes, you can do everything you dreamed, and more! And without further ado, a sneak preview of a few varieties that will be available.

The model for the syringe
Power Point
This ability gives you super strength.  No longer will you have to go to the weight room to become strong, now all it takes is a quick poke (or pressure, in doctor terms) and a nimble finger! Power level guaranteed exceeding 9000.







Flight Fluid
This shot gives you the power to fly.  Walking is overrated, and getting old.  Now, when taking this new product, soaring through the stratosphere with ease will be the simplest thing since making toast!





Awesome Sauce 
Finally, a shot to cure ugly.  Using this product turns you into the most amazing person ever.  Swag and suave guaranteed.









Cure-all Concoction
Save yourself, or a friend, in any situation.  Lost a leg? One shot of this will instantly heal all your wounds!  Need an organ transplant? Just remove the organ and take the shot.  Lost both your hands? Let's hope you have good friends, who will administer it for you.  If not, good luck.







Nuclear Nectar
Ever short on ammo, just when you need it most?  Well now, you will never run out of ammo, as you can beam energy at your opponents.  Feel like it's not a fair fight anymore?  At Duckman Connections, that's just the way we like it.






Results may vary. Do not use if pregnant, smoking, or sleeping.  Do not operate heavy machinery under the influence of Duckman Injections.  Contact your doctor if symptoms include: loss of appetite, runny nose, visions of dancing leprechauns, double vision, constant headaches, or the feeling of accomplishment. Swallowing the syringe may be harmful to your health. Store at temperatures between -100 degrees and 6000 degrees Fahrenheit.  Keep out of reach of children.  Effects temporary.  Not available in Canada or North Korea. ©2011 Duckman Connections.  All rights reserved.

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