Ghregery Gujumanju

 Modern civilization could not exist without the intensive research and production of Ghregery Gujumanju's many inventions.

'Who is Ghregery Gujumanju?'

Ghregery Gujumanju was a man of many accomplishments.  He was born in 1567, on July 20, in the Sahara desert.  His parents were testing the new Parachute Pants, and something went wrong, so they flew from Scotland to approximately present day Faya-Largeau.

Ghregery was the only African Prince to wear his bald headed victims on his head and carry a large ice cream cone.

'Did he even do anything in his life?'

Ghregery Gujumanju is repeatedly praised by history professors as having the longest list of achievements.  Here is just a sampling:

 -Most bon-bons eaten in 20 minutes
-Won the Lima Bean Juggling World Championship 67 consecutive years
-Kangaroo Wrangler
-Sent first three chimpanzees to Mars
-First 'man' to wear a pink skirt
-Invented the 'Lead Legs' to keep tone
-Haggled for 10 red toes from an Indian Black Market salesperson
-Perfected parachute pants
-Read a book
-Made it to level 9001 on Kino der Toten
-Successful ice cream saleman


'How much ice cream did he eat?'

Picture 600 purple gorillas. Now picture a very big bowl of ice cream. Take three of those bowls, put in on your head, roll down a grassy knoll, and the circumference of a nine-inch radius sphere is equivalent to the amount of ice cream he ate in pounds.

'What about the 600 Gorillas?'

...

'McDonald's or Burger King?'

White Castle; remind me of Home Country

'What shade of orange is his beard?'

Imagine an orange. Yeah, about right.

 'Any memorable quotes from his life?'


"What do you want, a cookie?" - Ghregery Gujumanju, after the doctor announced the birth of his first child.


"If  I had a pancake for every man I killed, I'd have one (1) pancake." - Ghregery Gujumanju, after accepting the certificate for most bon-bons eaten in 20 minutes.

'Any memorable quotes from his childhood?'

"Hey mom. What's for breakfast?"


  ADV TPW MJV