Regrets. We all have them. Each year we make resolutions that we promise to keep and yet we fail to stay true to those promises. Here at the Duckman Headquarters it can be hard for us to sympathize with failure as we have never been unable to stay true to a promise we’ve made to our fellow readers. Each hear we create a lofty goal for ourselves to create a better reading experience for the millions of people who browse our blog. Through the years, we’ve donated hundreds of millions of dollars to various (unnamed) charities, helped deliver a system of democracy to countless countries, and many more wonderful deeds that have helped advance earths civilation.
This year we would like to announce our newest venture: Duckman Mobile. This will be a free to play game where you are 1 of 100 people on a large map with the sole goal of being the last one to survive. We know this type of game has never been attempted to be made before, but we strive to push the boundaries of what can be done. Side note: we will be suing Fornite and PUBG as both have stolen intellectual property from us and our lawyers have guaranteed that we will win the legal battle.
The release date is July 4, the birth of the greatest nation on Earth. We hope you will join us as we embark on this new journey. Preorder our release day DLC to receive the sidekick, THE DUCKERS, which dual wields THE DUCKERS, which both dual wield THE DUCKERS, and so on and so forth. The DLC will only cost 5 easy payment sof 800 DuckCoins (1 DuckCoin is 11 cents or 0.99 Euros). You can send your payment to duckmanconnections@gmail.com. Get this deal before it sells out!
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