Saturday, December 3, 2011

Inspiration

Tens of people around the globe are searching for inspiration or inspirational quotes as we "speak".  Here at Duckman Connections, we view inspiration in 2 different ways:  inspiration that comes from a sort of "fountain", inspiration from food, and inspiration for laziness.

When inspiration comes out of a fountain, it is said to "well up out over the dikes of your soul" - Yao Van Ungerslangtën. When this happens, small servants who work only for the common good collect the inspiration, bottle it, and send it to your brain.  Obviously, this process is a little inefficient, because there is no inspiration to work or any career advancement opportunities like there are in the liver.  When the inspiration gets to your brain, you suddenly have the urge to act.  This is why some ideas sound good at the time, and then later seem like some imbecile made you do it.  Actually, thousands of imbeciles made you do it, with a little bit of inspiration.

This inspiration is the most basic.  When people eat turnips all their life (like the Swedish Peasants in the medieval 300 B.C.) , they want to zest things up with some Asian Spice.  To get this spice, they turn to explorers to bring them back some tasty foodstuffs.  Why else would Marco Polo return from his trips to China with nothing more to show for it than a pizza recipe? In fact, all explorers were European and the only reason they traveled was for some sauce or other spices.  For proof of this fact, look no further than Pregnant Queen Isabella, when she said, "Christopher Columbus, you bore me with your Asian Spice.  Find me some new delicacies."

Finally, laziness plays a huge factor in the amount of inspiration you acquire. Inventions like the microwave, telephone, car, and soon to be invented oven microwave came to be because people didn't want to heat their food up by sitting on it, call their mother in law by screaming at 190 Db, walk at a steady pace of .5 knots*, or the soon to be problem of not being able to fit the turkey in the microwave.
A graph proving the inverse relationship between hard work and progress
Just think of the Amish.  They work extraordinarily hard at their job.  And tell me, just how many technological breakthroughs have the Amish achieved since that fateful date when Lief Ericson led them to Argentina in 992? 

Instead of a conclusion, We at Duckman Connections will do our part to bring about change.

*In the olden times, people had to walk in water in order to travel

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1 comment:

  1. I am Yao Van Ungerslangtën and you misquoted me. I actually said that it "wells up out over the dikes of your soles". And it wasn't inspiration I said that about but ex-foliation... or was it constipation...

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