The John LaFaux Story

This is a story I wrote a couple years ago.

Interviewer: So John, I just wanted to ask you if you were willing to tell your story of how you became a world champion baseball player.

John: Well of course I could. It all started when I was just a little boy. When I was very little, I always wanted to play football. But that dream was crushed when I lost both of my arms due to a serious injury I had gotten.

Interviewer: So what happened next? Did you give up on your dream of being a football player?

John: Well yes. I couldn’t really play football seeing as though I had lost both of my arms, which caused me not to be able to catch a football.

Interviewer: So what did you do?

John: Well, I decided that I would try baseball. I didn’t need any arms to play, because my dad created a casing that would wrap around my head that was shaped just like a glove. This glove was big enough to catch a baseball.

Interviewer: So how did you get the ball back in from the outfield if you missed it? Or after you caught it to make another out?

John: Well, my dad also created a special machine that would wrap around my waist, that could automatically shoot the baseball back into the infield. If I missed the ball, I would just grab it with my feet, seeing as though I would play with bare feet.

Interviewer: Well I heard, that after the coach let you play on the baseball team because of feeling sorry for you…

John: That didn’t put me down at all. All the kids told me this, but instead of putting me down, it just caused me to try even harder to prove them wrong.

Interviewer: I see. But only 2 years after making the team, something else tragic happened to you?

John: Yes. There was a disease inside my ankles that was eating away at the tendons inside of it. I had to get both of my ankles removed because of this. Even though my feet were perfectly fine, there was nothing to connect them to the legs, so I lost those too.

Interviewer: That sounds horrible. But you still continued to play?

John: Of course I did. I now sit in a wheelchair because the doctors couldn’t give me fake feet because of how deformed the bottom of my legs were after my cousin, a non-certified doctor, took my ankles and feet off.

Interviewer: So why did you have your cousin do surgery on you anyway?

John: Well the surgery would have cost me $12,000 if a real doctor had done it, and my cousin was willing to do it for only 2 donuts, so I took the cheaper route and let my cousin do surgery on me.   

*The author wishes to remain anonymous