Step one: Sneak up on the AGPSCS under the cover of night, in completely black clothes and a ski mask. Swipe the AGPSCS, and shove it in the back of the mini-van.
Step two: Duck tape its mouth shut, and film a video in Arabic describing how you have kidnapped the AGPSCS, and are going to judge it for all it has done. Release the video on YouTube, just for good measure.
Step three: Begin by cutting off its back leg, the most useless to the miscreant. Return this in a brown paper bag, with a note written in magazine letters. The note should go something along the lines of: "In case you didn't notice, your little green plastic child is missing. I'm not saying I did it, but it wasn't anybody else. If you want it back, promise to burn it when you receive it."
Step four: Cut off the other leg, put it through a wood chipper, and, with the assistance of a jack-hammer, bash the plastic into tiny little pieces. Put this mush into a paper bag, and burn it. Force feed the AGPSCS's leg to itself.
Step five: Rip the flag from the AGPSCS, and repeatedly beat the AGPSCS with it. Do not stop until continuing is no longer possible. If needed, put nails through the flag, so beating will also have the nice slicing effect often smiled upon in this sort of deal.
Step six: Dispose of the AGPSCS by dumping the remains into an airtight Tupperware container, strapped to chains and a cannonball, and dropping it to the bottom of the ocean.
Alternative ending: Just deal with the stupid thing 'til the kids grow up and don't need it anymore.
"Every man, young or old, white or black, poor and rich alike, should have the freedom to decimate this menace to our colony, and thus secure the peace and liberty our fathers once possessed." - Thomas Jefferson
"And remember son, you ALWAYS have the right of way." - Professor Jared VanDyke, a leading researcher on human behavior.
**Interesting fact: China pumps out more than 3.7 million of these puppies every year, just to America! That equates to over 10000 AGPSCSs arriving every day!
