Although we haven't posted in quite some time, we are going to have quite a few new posts starting right away in the new year.
We already have 4 already typed stories, so make sure to get everyone to come starting January 1 to check them out!
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Monday, December 12, 2011
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Duckman Information
This post is not so much a hilarious post, but a post bursting with truth and honest to goodness values. That's right, just for you, we are going to reveal the very workings of the minds of the minions and other silly facts you probably never wanted to know. And so, without further introduction, we present Duckman Information, an Insider's Perspective to the Inner Workings of the Business.
Question 1: Why don't you guys post very much?
Answer: Many reasons restrict the team at Duckman Connections from doing their good work. One of the reasons is because they can't think of anything good to write. Just look at this chart illustrating the PWC ((Blog) Post Writing Circumstances).
This pie chart shows a few things. First, it explains why we only have 23 followers. Only 10% of the posts are ideas that will appeal to the masses. Second, since 35% of the ideas are posted during the night, it explains why few posts are created Monday through Thursday. Normally, we do not stay up late enough to become "creative" enough to write anything worth mentioning. Finally, it shows that we care about you, the reader, enough to feel guilty enough that 20% of the posts are written because of your dastardly guilt trips.
Question: When do you have the highest chance of posting?
I don't always post, but when I do, it was probably on the weekend. To be exact, probably between the hours of 10:00PM and 4:00AM from Friday to Saturday.
Any post Monday through Thursday is most likely a "We should Post, because We haven't in a While" Post, with just a few exceptions. The most quality posts (meaning easiest understood) are released at approximately 9:30 on the weekend, because this means that the author was sane enough to know what they were writing. However, just because they are of quality does not mean they are funny.
Question: How many views do you get?
Answer: In recent weeks, we get approximately 25 to 30 views a day. However, this may be a little deceiving. As proof, view the evidence.
This graph clearly shows that only half of the people who search the blog stay longer than 10 seconds. The reasons for this are twofold: either someone accidentally clicked our website, or we haven't posted anything new. But hey, a view's a view.
Question: Who views the blog?
Answer: There are many different people, but some groups have a higher representation. The top 5 groups are hipsters, Random Foreigners, Loyal Followers, People who are new to the Internet, and Fools/Trolls.
Hipsters view the blog from their Ipad 2 because everything else on the internet is too mainstream. Random Foreigners accidentally end up here when experimenting with the English Language. Random Foreigners are among the quickest "go back one page" abusers. You, the Loyal Follower, view the blog in hopes of a new post. People who are just starting their internet adventures end up here because they didn't know clicking on links brought them here. Fools and Trolls read the blog through Google searches of "London eating at the zoo" or "sport tshirt example with quote on back"*. Instead of naming the other 340 groups, We lumped them into a group known as "Other". "Others" come for various reasons, but are generally not welcome.
*Actual searches that brought people to the blog
*This post was not based on any Factual Evidence
Question 1: Why don't you guys post very much?
Answer: Many reasons restrict the team at Duckman Connections from doing their good work. One of the reasons is because they can't think of anything good to write. Just look at this chart illustrating the PWC ((Blog) Post Writing Circumstances).
Question: When do you have the highest chance of posting?
I don't always post, but when I do, it was probably on the weekend. To be exact, probably between the hours of 10:00PM and 4:00AM from Friday to Saturday.
Any post Monday through Thursday is most likely a "We should Post, because We haven't in a While" Post, with just a few exceptions. The most quality posts (meaning easiest understood) are released at approximately 9:30 on the weekend, because this means that the author was sane enough to know what they were writing. However, just because they are of quality does not mean they are funny.
Question: How many views do you get?
Answer: In recent weeks, we get approximately 25 to 30 views a day. However, this may be a little deceiving. As proof, view the evidence.
This graph clearly shows that only half of the people who search the blog stay longer than 10 seconds. The reasons for this are twofold: either someone accidentally clicked our website, or we haven't posted anything new. But hey, a view's a view.
Question: Who views the blog?
Answer: There are many different people, but some groups have a higher representation. The top 5 groups are hipsters, Random Foreigners, Loyal Followers, People who are new to the Internet, and Fools/Trolls.
Hipsters view the blog from their Ipad 2 because everything else on the internet is too mainstream. Random Foreigners accidentally end up here when experimenting with the English Language. Random Foreigners are among the quickest "go back one page" abusers. You, the Loyal Follower, view the blog in hopes of a new post. People who are just starting their internet adventures end up here because they didn't know clicking on links brought them here. Fools and Trolls read the blog through Google searches of "London eating at the zoo" or "sport tshirt example with quote on back"*. Instead of naming the other 340 groups, We lumped them into a group known as "Other". "Others" come for various reasons, but are generally not welcome.
*Actual searches that brought people to the blog
*This post was not based on any Factual Evidence
"I never realized how poor the Chinese were until I realized their yo-yos are nothing more than paper on a stick." - Dr. Tony VanDyke
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